Gratitude has become an evolving practice for me.
A mindset shift desperately needed…
A skill improvement that has not been easy to develop…
And a rhythm that has found me during the hard parts of my day.
What started as some advice from someone I respect turned into
a night time routine with my boys
that helped me and them find a new attitude of gratitude.
Read more about it below →
Sure we could find that attitude when we were laughing, smiling, and feeling great. What I didn’t expect was the push from them to find that attitude during the hard parts.
The dad snaps.
The bad work days.
The 6th inning baseball game loss.
The Lions somehow losing another heartbreaker.
What started as a family rhythm to settle down for bed
made its way into how we helped and supported each other during the hard parts.
I continue to believe that my kids often times teach me just as much about being a good person as I try to teach them. This is one of those instances.
This Week’s Fieldwork
1- Find the Hard Part
You probably already know which moment it was. Its probably a moment you have already counted as a failure. You snapped. Lost your patience. Handled something Poorly. Said something you regretted.
2 - Find the Blessing
Don’t explain it away.
Don’t make it all roses and butterflies.
Look for a blessing within it. Maybe it was the hug after the snap. The snuggles during the Lions’ defeat. Or the sing along in the car on the ride home from the game. Chances are ,the hard part wasn’t ALL bad. Find the blessing.
3 - Let It Be Enough
Maybe you found something to be grateful for.
Maybe you can’t find it yet.
Either way, you don’t have to force it. Finding a blessing doesn’t mean that hard part is resolved. An apology or tough conversation might still need to happen.
For tonight, let what you notice be enough.
Why This Works
When something goes wrong, my magnificent mind magnifies it.
It replays it. Over and over again.
The dad snap. The obvious mistake. The thing I should have said differently.
Looking for something I am grateful for gives me another part of the experience to remember. The part that my brain doesn’t like to naturally look at or remember.
I still dad snapped. But this time, I apologized. Then I got to have an amazing hug, and I felt close to him again.
Before, I would have counted that whole moment as a failure.
Now, the apology and the hug make my gratitude list.
The mistake still matters…
but it isn’t the only part of the story.
I want to remember that part, too
Closing Reminder
You don’t have to be grateful that the hard thing happened. But, there may be something within it that deserves some more of your attention. Something that you will be grateful you didn’t miss.
And if you can’t see it right away, you haven’t failed. You might just need more time, more space, or a pushy twelve year old to force you to name something.
I am learning to count my blessing in the moment I used to count as failures.
We are practicing gratitude. Not perfect practice. Just practice.
Keep Exploring Gratitude
Read: Gratitude In Action
Sometimes showing gratitude through service is more powerful that saying it in words alone.
Listen: Gratitude > Gas (Especially on Mexican Night)
A podcast that talks about how gratitude on Taco Tuesday can change the feeling in the room, eventhough it can’t fix the smell.
Read: Micro-Blessings That Stick
One the rare occasion that the house is quiet, and I am with only one son, I speak a small and specific micro-blessing to let them know I see them for the blessing they are.
Finding gratitude in the hard parts is the advanced version of the practice. Kids pushing their dad to do it is a beautiful role reversal.