Apparently my internal coach yelling “DO BETTER” at full volume isn’t the growth strategy I thought it was. Grace as fuel instead of pressure feels risky, but also way more livable, for me and the kids watching me figure it out. Good piece DDR
Solid piece on the whole pressure-versus-grace dynamic. The point about how harsh self-criticism creates hesitation instead of motivation is something I've seen play out over and over. When mistakes get internally punished every time, people start avoiding risks altogether, which paradoxically stops the growth everyone wanted. Grace actually allows for more experimentation cause failure doesn't carry that added psychological cost.
When failure gets punished internally, curiosity disappears. Grace brings it back. It gives us permission to try, fail, and evolve. Thanks so much for reading and commenting.
It's surprising how much of our internal dialogue our kids pick up on. Because our internal thoughts shape our actions, which they internalize. When we start by giving ourselves grace, our kids see it and learn that responding to situations with grace is the best way to respond
It really is surprising. Our kids don’t just hear what we say, they watch how we treat ourselves. Grace shows up in our actions, tone, facial expressions… long before it becomes a lesson. And without real conversations, they’ll fill in the gaps themselves—which can shape their inner dialogue for years. I really appreciate you taking the time to comment, your insight is tremendous.
Beautifully put. For several years I worked as a holistic healer. Taking people deep under their subconscious patterns which were downloaded into them from the womb to above seven years. All those external voices of caregivers, teachers, mentors et cetera eventually get internalised and used against us long after our childhood years. And the kicker is that as children, we made up that it’s all our fault. So comes to shame on the blame. Until Grace enters in. Thank you, thank you thank you for pointing us to this authentic and softer way.
That resonates deeply. I’m very much a recovering shame-aholic myself, and I wouldn’t have found my way out without learning explicit self-talk rooted in grace. Pressure just kept me stuck. Grace gave me language, and a way forward. Thank you for naming this so clearly.
Recovering with you as we re-member our true Self together. Grateful to walk this adventure and dovetail here with you. Keep sharing as you do, it matters.
Apparently my internal coach yelling “DO BETTER” at full volume isn’t the growth strategy I thought it was. Grace as fuel instead of pressure feels risky, but also way more livable, for me and the kids watching me figure it out. Good piece DDR
That’s the shift. Pressure might move things short-term, but grace is what actually lasts, especially for the kids learning by watching us.
Solid piece on the whole pressure-versus-grace dynamic. The point about how harsh self-criticism creates hesitation instead of motivation is something I've seen play out over and over. When mistakes get internally punished every time, people start avoiding risks altogether, which paradoxically stops the growth everyone wanted. Grace actually allows for more experimentation cause failure doesn't carry that added psychological cost.
Well said.
When failure gets punished internally, curiosity disappears. Grace brings it back. It gives us permission to try, fail, and evolve. Thanks so much for reading and commenting.
It's surprising how much of our internal dialogue our kids pick up on. Because our internal thoughts shape our actions, which they internalize. When we start by giving ourselves grace, our kids see it and learn that responding to situations with grace is the best way to respond
It really is surprising. Our kids don’t just hear what we say, they watch how we treat ourselves. Grace shows up in our actions, tone, facial expressions… long before it becomes a lesson. And without real conversations, they’ll fill in the gaps themselves—which can shape their inner dialogue for years. I really appreciate you taking the time to comment, your insight is tremendous.
Beautifully put. For several years I worked as a holistic healer. Taking people deep under their subconscious patterns which were downloaded into them from the womb to above seven years. All those external voices of caregivers, teachers, mentors et cetera eventually get internalised and used against us long after our childhood years. And the kicker is that as children, we made up that it’s all our fault. So comes to shame on the blame. Until Grace enters in. Thank you, thank you thank you for pointing us to this authentic and softer way.
🌞XC
That resonates deeply. I’m very much a recovering shame-aholic myself, and I wouldn’t have found my way out without learning explicit self-talk rooted in grace. Pressure just kept me stuck. Grace gave me language, and a way forward. Thank you for naming this so clearly.
Recovering with you as we re-member our true Self together. Grateful to walk this adventure and dovetail here with you. Keep sharing as you do, it matters.
🌞C.
I’m 100% guilty. I’m really hard on myself. Most of us are…
Giving ourselves more grace is a reminder we need to return to daily.
I’m right there with you. I’m hard on myself too, and it takes a daily reset to come back to grace.