I don’t intend to have a family calendar that takes on a life of its own….
but every sports season it happens.
Games.
Practices.
Scouts.
Birthday parties.
Costco runs and meal prep.
I look up and we have not had any time to just be a family. We are frustrated. Tired. And one bad look away from having a wrestling match bust out in our living room.
It doesn’t help that open slots on our calendar scream at me to be filled with some type of new experience, fun tradition, random adventure, or a long drive with no where to go.
When all we really need is time to breath. I wrote about it this week→
The only way I knew to fix it was to schedule time to not be scheduled. This week’s fieldwork is about the starting point, and then how to evolve from there!
This Week’s Fieldwork
1 - Identify
Find a day every week that you can have time as a family. An hour works, and afternoon works better. Gold star if it can be the same day every week.
2- Schedule
Put it on your family calendar. Work Calendar. A sticky note on the fridge. Or if you are like me, use all of them. Writing it down makes it easier to do it every week.
3 - Rhythm
Create a rhythm with your time. Not a rigid structure. Look at the week. Eat a nice meal. Bust out a board game. Go for a bike ride. Do something a kid wants to do. Or do absolutely nothing. That’s kind of the point?!?!
Why This Works
Whether you need divine inspiration from Proverbs 15:22 or research based evidence from a Harvard Study, both point me toward some of the same things.
More connection.
Less stress.
Growing together.
For me, the Family Pause creates room for all three without me having to schedule every minute of the month, week, or day.
We’re creating time to connect without rushing to the next activity.
The boys are are getting the time and space to figure out their own responsibilities, how to prioritize them, and when to fit in some down time.
Hopefully so they don’t pick up this bad habit from me.
And all of us feel less pressure from trying to squeeze everything into an already full week.
Closing Reminder
For us productivity nut bags…
For those of us who can prioritize, optimize, Pomodoro with the best of them, and schedule our families right into exhaustion…
The Family Pause might be exactly what we need
We schedule time to not be scheduled.
We protect it on the calendar so that, for a few hours, nobody has to worry about the calendar.
No elaborate plans.
No optimizing.
No squeezing one more thing.
No rushing to the next thing.
Just some room to breathe together.
And maybe that’s the reset our families needed all along.
It gives us something to schedule while helping us recover from the productivity trap,
because…..
Keep Exploring the Pause
One-Minute Pause — My Algorithm Wants Me to Be a Better Dad
A one-minute interruption to autopilot when my attention is everywhere except where I actually am.
Long Pause — The Long Pause Has Been Stolen From Us
What happens when we give our minds enough uninterrupted space to wander, process, and breathe.
Family Pause — Our Family Needed a Pause. I Needed an Intervention.
Creating room in the calendar to recognize and respond to what the people I love actually need.
Love this. Super relevant to talks my wife and I have had this week. Thank you for providing something really tactical we can bring to the conversation.
Also, my favorite line…
“For us productivity nut bags…” 😂
A much needed reminder!