When I read about a day of rest in The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, it sounded both exciting and impossible.
4 boys?
All day?
No screens?
No big plans?
A very high chance it will end with something breaking in our house, someone breaking a bone, or dad having an emotional break down.
Something about the impossibility of it all felt like a challenge. And I love a challenge.
You can read more about it here→
Normally I would bury my head in a spreadsheet and my computer, come up with a 21-point plan to make it happen, and happily await my standing ovation as I lead my family towards a “day of rest” that was both impactful and serene.
This time, I paused.
I went for a walk without my phone.
Let the idea bounce around in my head.
And then returned to the house with the first, and most important step, to make this all happen…
I need to involve the family.
This Week’s Fieldwork
1- Involve the Family
Have a quick family meeting beforehand. Let the kids know what the family will be doing, and ask them:
What do you want to do for fun?
What do you want to eat?
What do we need to do today to be ready?
When they help build the plan, they are far more likely to remind you when you head to the garage or try to check a football score.
2 - The Let It Wait List
Before your day of rest, use the meeting with the family to write down at least three things most likely to pull you back into work mode: errands, laundry, email, fantasy football, a Detroit Lions game, etc
Get those done before, plan on doing them afterward, or create some type of small exception (5 minutes of fantasy football review) to make it still work.
3 - No Poop-Scrolling
We all do it.
We escape the wildness of the moment to go doom-scroll while we poop.
On your planned day of rest, don’t do it.
Your kids will find out.
You will know.
Shame, shame, shame.
Why This Works
Our house will never just wake up and magically be able to start a day of rest.
Our Let-It-Wait List helps us decide what can wait proactively, before we react to the “urgency” of errands, emails, chores, or fantasy scores.
Involving the family gives everyone a voice in the plan…
and makes rest something you do with your kids,
not something you do to them.
And no poop-scrolling?
That is just a small way of practicing the bigger goal: being available when your family is actually together.
Accept that your plan will not be perfect. Your day won’t be serene. You are really just trying to create a little bit space before you look up and the day is over.
Space to stop,
breathe,
and enjoy the people already in the room.
Closing Reminder
Your family’s version of rest may not look serene.
I know ours doesn’t.
It may include Catan arguments, trampoline body slams, a house that still needs attention, and zero moments of silence.
But that does not make it less meaningful.
As Brand Perception Studio put in a comment…
Keep Exploring the Pause
One-Minute Pause — My Algorithm Wants Me to Be a Better Dad
A one-minute interruption to autopilot when my attention is everywhere except where I actually am.
Long Pause — The Long Pause Has Been Stolen From Us
What happens when we give our minds enough uninterrupted space to wander, process, and breathe.
Family Pause — Our Family Needed a Pause. I Needed an Intervention.
Creating room in the calendar to recognize and respond to what the people I love actually need.