Even the best systems can't overpower bad habits. Habits are the building blocks for the systems and rhythms we want to install in our lives. Great reminder to start the year!
100%. I tried to out-system my way out of plenty of them too...
and it usually worked…
temporarily.
Real change didn’t start until I looked at the mindset underneath the habits. I still love a good system (kind of required in a house with four boys), but you’re right...
Goal setting that isn’t rooted in your hierarchy of values will always be futile and those limiting beliefs will reign, but when you align your goals with your values your motivation will be intrinsic with less noise. Those broken patterns running your limiting beliefs can, and should be broken no matter what though, because they hold people back from their full potential!
Appreciate these words. I have been encouraging families to slow down and just start up again when we falter. It takes time and consistency. Just keep going.
The language we use is so important to watch. How we talk to ourselves and others, it's really a reflection of ourselves. The more you learn to see what you say, how you say it, the more you can change the path you are on.
Months ago, my wife expressed the importance of my voice to my daughters' well-being. With that, I essentially reset my way of speaking to them in discipline situations. They are still corrected, but they are corrected in a different way than I correct my sons. I have "installed" a delay in my head to my mouth speaking. I try to filter everything before I say it. It has worked well. Thank you for sharing and reminding me to keep on doing that.
This is powerful. That “installed delay” you described is real work, and it matters more than we realize. That is easy to say and hard to do!
Your daughters don’t just hear what you say in those moments, they feel how you say it. The fact that you paused, adapted, and stayed present instead of defaulting says a lot about the kind of dad you’re choosing to be.
Thank you for sharing this…
and for doing the quiet, intentional work that rarely gets applauded but shapes kids for life.
Even the best systems can't overpower bad habits. Habits are the building blocks for the systems and rhythms we want to install in our lives. Great reminder to start the year!
100%. I tried to out-system my way out of plenty of them too...
and it usually worked…
temporarily.
Real change didn’t start until I looked at the mindset underneath the habits. I still love a good system (kind of required in a house with four boys), but you’re right...
systems can’t overpower bad habits.
Goal setting that isn’t rooted in your hierarchy of values will always be futile and those limiting beliefs will reign, but when you align your goals with your values your motivation will be intrinsic with less noise. Those broken patterns running your limiting beliefs can, and should be broken no matter what though, because they hold people back from their full potential!
Totally agree. When goals aren’t tied to values, it turns into a lot of forcing. Values make it quieter....
and more sustainable.
The tricky part is noticing the beliefs underneath them.
Once you start questioning where those came from and whether you still want them, change gets a lot less heavy.
Appreciate these words. I have been encouraging families to slow down and just start up again when we falter. It takes time and consistency. Just keep going.
The language we use is so important to watch. How we talk to ourselves and others, it's really a reflection of ourselves. The more you learn to see what you say, how you say it, the more you can change the path you are on.
So true. I always think I need a new plan, when really I need to stop narrating my life like a disappointed coach.
Once I started checking my inner dialogue,
habits got a lot easier to start…
and stop.
Months ago, my wife expressed the importance of my voice to my daughters' well-being. With that, I essentially reset my way of speaking to them in discipline situations. They are still corrected, but they are corrected in a different way than I correct my sons. I have "installed" a delay in my head to my mouth speaking. I try to filter everything before I say it. It has worked well. Thank you for sharing and reminding me to keep on doing that.
This is powerful. That “installed delay” you described is real work, and it matters more than we realize. That is easy to say and hard to do!
Your daughters don’t just hear what you say in those moments, they feel how you say it. The fact that you paused, adapted, and stayed present instead of defaulting says a lot about the kind of dad you’re choosing to be.
Thank you for sharing this…
and for doing the quiet, intentional work that rarely gets applauded but shapes kids for life.
Thanks for your encouragement.