Reset: Sing Loud Anyway
Why bad pitch, goofy dance moves, and kitchen concerts might be the most underrated parenting tool.
It started with bedtime songs. All self-selected by the boys.
Jackson wanted Blackbird by the Beatles. Classic. Singable. One of my favorites.
Hunter’s was Goodnight Sweetheart, Goodnight. The one I used to belt out as a summer camp counselor.
And Cooper? He demanded Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
Every night.
For years.
There were nights I didn’t want to sing at all, especially during the Rudolph era. I tried to negotiate.
Rotate songs.
Cut it down to one.
The boys weren’t having it. Every night, all three songs.
But here’s the thing: by the time I finished the third one, I felt different. Whatever was heavy in my head had lightened.
So I started carrying that into my days. Singing in the car. Cranking playlists while doing dishes. Even late-night dance parties with the boys.
Some of my favorite memories? Playing Shake It Off on the TV and watching the boys each dance in their own style:
Cooper, like an old stiff man at a wedding.
Jackson, trying to nail every move from the music video, which if you have seen the video you know how eclectic those moves really are.
Hunter, twirling with the biggest grin in the room. I am positive he was twirling to music in his head rather than the music we were listening to as a family.
Every time, something shifted.
Worries shrank.
Smiles grew.
My heart felt lighter.
Now the boys curate their own playlists, proud when their songs take over the house. We all sing. We all dance. And none of us is particularly good at either. Which is why we’ve got a family rule:
If you can’t sing well, sing loud.
The Science
Singing together is equal parts fun and hormonal. It spikes oxytocin, the same hormone that bonds moms and babies.
That hit of oxytocin does three things at once:
Calms stress.
Deepens trust.
Builds connection that lasts long after the song ends.
Translation? Singing Baby Shark for the 700th time was actually biochemically bonding you to your kids. (Sorry if it’s now stuck in your head.)
The Reflection
Music has a way of shoving stress out of the way and rewiring your mood.
No, it won’t fix the kids leaving every light on in the basement but it will make you care less about it. Even just temporarily.
It’s hard to stay anxious when your whole family is screaming Don’t Stop Believin’ off-key in the kitchen. (Journey may never forgive us, but my kids will never forget it.)
The Scripture
“Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth; break forth into joyous song and sing praises!”
—Psalm 98:4
Notice it doesn’t say on key. Just joyful.
Turns out God values volume and heart over pitch. Which means my kids must be His favorites.
The Reset Reminder
Next time the day feels heavy, don’t scroll. Don’t stew.
Hit play.
Sing loud.
Dance bad.
Because sometimes the fastest path to joy isn’t thinking harder,
it’s singing louder
This is such a beautiful post! My kids loved singing all the old broadway songs. Also singing really helps tone the Vagus nerve which helps your stress level.
I love this perspective! My musician husband and I have three kids. He can sing, play every instrument, makes beats, records, produces, you name it. For fifteen years I never sang. Because well- the sound of my voice. It's not the singing kind. But I LOVE SINGING and dancing with my kids. This past weekend, due to a swollen face from a tooth infection- I took my husband's place and took my two teenage boys (13&14) to a Lil Tecca concert. I only knew one song. He's all the hype in their world. I am 42, so it's been about 20 years since my last trip inside a mosh pit. I pushed and jumped my way to the front for two hours and we finallyade it for the last song. The looks on their the faces, to see me do that for them, and be sweaty and loud and all in- is a memory I will never forget. WE will never forget. This is why when a song comes in and I feel it, I want to sing, dance, jump around- I do it. Without hesitation. That part of my existence was shut down for too many years because I worried about what others thought. Now I think about what my sons think, and I know they think I'm the G.O.A.T. cause they tell me. And I think music is a mountain of magic that everyone needs to enjoy regularly. Loud and wild, not reserved and humming. It's about FEELING IT, not feeling cautious about how you experience it. I'm glad you shared this, I just decided to cancel my plans to fold laundry and watch Netflix, and instead, I'm having a living room party with my kids and Alexa. And we're gonna get loud, and enjoy Every. Single. Song. 💕 🎶 😁