Bananas, side quests, and toddlers in the cart. I came for milk once and left with glow sticks and a watermelon. The cart fills fast when you do not start with a checklist.
Honestly at this point I think stores should have a special cart just for dads. Reinforced wheels, cup holder, banana containment unit. Maybe even a horn to warn civilians when the toddler starts pre-launch checks.
Hahahaha. I would add a built-in whiteboard for my ‘don’t forget the milk’ reminder, a pool noodle front bumper for kid traffic jams, and a toddler seatbelt auto-lock for when they decide they can reach the Goldfish by sheer willpower
Also, Emergency Goldfish dispenser for said goldfish with a two-snack minimum per tantrum, a warning light that flashes every time you pass the cereal aisle without milk and don’t forget we need auto-pilot mode that guides you past the toy aisle without stopping.
Alright, the Dad Cart 3000 is officially in development. Standard features include autopilot to bypass the toy aisle, turbulence control for mid-cart tantrums, a two-Goldfish minimum per meltdown, and of course dual cup holders because priorities. Pre-orders open soon, patent pending.
I went specifically for coffee yesterday, among other things, but the coffee was what was needed. Forgot the coffee. lol!
Coffee’s the one thing you can’t forget… until you do.
By the time I realize it, I’m knee deep in backpacks and missing shoes.
Yesterday’s sludge has basically become my survival skill.
Bananas, side quests, and toddlers in the cart. I came for milk once and left with glow sticks and a watermelon. The cart fills fast when you do not start with a checklist.
The cart trick works…
until your toddler becomes a baby monkey with a banana, torn between eating it, smashing it, or launching it at strangers.
Honestly at this point I think stores should have a special cart just for dads. Reinforced wheels, cup holder, banana containment unit. Maybe even a horn to warn civilians when the toddler starts pre-launch checks.
Hahahaha. I would add a built-in whiteboard for my ‘don’t forget the milk’ reminder, a pool noodle front bumper for kid traffic jams, and a toddler seatbelt auto-lock for when they decide they can reach the Goldfish by sheer willpower
Also, Emergency Goldfish dispenser for said goldfish with a two-snack minimum per tantrum, a warning light that flashes every time you pass the cereal aisle without milk and don’t forget we need auto-pilot mode that guides you past the toy aisle without stopping.
Honestly, I see a whole line of Crosswind Chronicle/Daily Dad Reset grocery carts now. Autopilot is key technology to patent ASAP.
Alright, the Dad Cart 3000 is officially in development. Standard features include autopilot to bypass the toy aisle, turbulence control for mid-cart tantrums, a two-Goldfish minimum per meltdown, and of course dual cup holders because priorities. Pre-orders open soon, patent pending.
I love your comparison to a grocery store stop to our mental load. Very funny! And I bet the peeps were hilarious
Love this